It's Only His Strength

Today, marks the three year anniversary of my official start with YWAM. I'm not going to beat around the bush here, so let me just say it has been a tough few years! I will also say it has been the best few years. There has been a lot God has led me through. He has strengthened my faith remarkably, and I have to say, I serve an awesome God. My story doesn't start at just three years ago, it starts from the very beginning of my life. I've had my share of hardships for as long as I can remember. There has been numorous trials such as surgeries, school struggles, tragic famiiy deaths and sickness, my own near death experience and more; now today, I'm struggling with more physical difficulties, working on walking again, and not having very much physical strength, it all has been very hard. I don't know why I have been taken away from San Diego for this long. I want to be out there in the streets sharing God's love. Why am I here? I've struggled with trying to understand the reasons and asking why is this happening. Though Jesus has always kept and continues to keep me going forward with a hope and joy in my heart. No matter what happens that can never be taken away from me. Jesus knows how I feel, in every circumstance. He has experienced every pain and trial and more suffering than anyone. He did that because He loves us so much. Jesus knows that this earth is full of suffering and trial, and He does understand. That is why I can keep going, because I have the strength of my everlasting Father carrying me through. I know that God is with me, He's got this. It has been one thing happening after another, and the enemy is trying so hard to get me down. I may be struck down but not destroyed, persecuted but not abandoned, I am more than a conqueror through Christ. These past few weeks I have been struggling a lot. The pain both emotionally and physically have gotten intense at times. Though I am not alone. It may feel like it at times, but God is there. His strength is what I need. God has been preparing me for the call He has placed on my heart. It is a passion that is so strong that I know God has given it to me. He has called me to love and serve the hurting and lost people. Be wants me to be able to minister to them, but also to have more of an understanding. How can I understand how someone who hurts feels, without going through it myself? God has given me the strength I need for each day, and the day is coming when I can return back to ministry. Though I may not be ministering in San Diego right now, God is still using me somehow. He is allowing me to touch more lives and help people. I don't always see it, but that is okay because it is not for me to know, it is for God to be glorified.