Don't Give Up

If I had a quarter for every time I heard the phrase, "Don't give up," I would be able to travel the world.  Many people remind me of it: my mom, siblings, extended family, pastors, and dear friends, I feel so close sometimes to giving up but I know in my heart that is not what God would want me to do.  God tells me over and over again through His word and still small voice to keep running forward.  I have to listen to Him even above everyone else.  But I am still human and a person who is like everybody else.  I have shortcomings  I am a sinner and fall short time and time again.  Even though I feel like giving up at times, and I have those bad attitudes, I can rest assured that God never gives up on me.  God will never give up on you either no matter what.  I promise you that!

It is through God's strength that I do press forward.  When I do fall short, through Him, I get back up and proceed.  I walk forward in faith one step at a time.  God is always by my side.  He is my best listener, the One that I can always turn to, always depend on, cry on, and talk to about anything.  God wants to hear all of my feelings.  When I am tired beyond limits, He does carry me.  I get tired quite often too!

I know it in my heart God is always with me.  He promises all of us that He will never leave us.  He has never said life would be easy.  He has actually said that in this world we will have many troubles.  No matter who we are, we are not exempt.  Before you point the finger to someone else and say, their life is so easy, remember, you don't know what they are going through.  We can't determine other people's lives and whether or not how easy or hard it is.  That is a form of judging others and we are not to do that!  It is also a form of jealousy, and we are not to be jealous either.  Let God be the judge and let's be thankful for the blessings of our lives.  I know, I have to work on the same.

With God's strength we can do all things and we can get through all things.  No matter what you are going through in life, remember to keep pressing on.  Don't give up.  Instead, give it over.  Give it over to God's hands and let His hands carry you.  Even if you are in a scary situation , God will carry you and comfort you.  He is there always.

Life can be scary and if we focus on the world around us we can be worried sick!  So let's focus on God above us and the God above all.  Remember He is in control of absolutely everything and if we fix our eyes upon Jesus, we can keep running forward, knowing He is there.  He has already gone before us and He is there besides us.  So remember, never give up!  Instead trust in God and God alone.

One last thing.  I need to ask you for a personal favor.  I will be having a major surgery on November 1st.  I am asking for prayer that day  I don't want go give a lot of details other than it is a surgery in the stem of the brain and it is very complex.  Simply pray; that is really the best thing you can do.

Healer

The first time I heard the song "Healer," was at my church after coming home from the hospital in the middle of my DTS.  I had first learned I had Chiari Malformation, which was the starting point of the whirlwind of a ride it has been to today.  At least with that, there has been plenty more as you already know.

The song "Healer," brought me not just to tears, but a flood of them during that church service that day.  I oouldn't stop.  I was in tremendous pain during that moment as well.  This song means so much to me.  During my life and especicially this past year, music has been very much my therapy.  Whether, playing it on the iPad, or playing on the piano, I feel so close to God during songs like these.  Music, new or old has a way that speaks to the heart.  I find myself in tears the most, while listening or playing and they flow rapidly.

I was just released from the hospital again yesterday.  I was there for two weeks, including a few days in the ICU.   I had tremendous pain, a bad eye infection, and pneumonia.  The eye came later and I originally went to the hospital with abdominal pain.  A lot went on to sum it up briefly.  Definitely very hard and there are no words. 

When I put the music on the pain seems dimmer down.  I will never forget the day I heard "Healer" for the first time.  I have many other songs that are my favorites.  A few of them I learned through hard times.  Just to name a few, the songs "His Strength is Perfect," "God is in Control," "Through it All," " Because He Lives," and "Day by Day," are all songs that speak to me straight to the heart.   They are some of my favorites that. Never get old and I have many more that I absolutely love.

In times like now when it hurts so bad I put on the music and melt away in my Savior's arms.  I can live each day because He loves me so much and suffered and died for me.  There is nothing greater than the love of the Savior has for you and me.

Not Again!

That is what I had to say: "Not again!"  I just couldn't believe it!

Last week I ended up in the hospital and was released yesterday.  Guess what elsse is back.  The wheelchair.   Yeah, it is back because my legs gave out and I can't walk at all by myself, not even with the walker.  There as good as jello.  No, not taste wise, feeling wise!  I was very close to walking normally.  The morning before being admitted, I even drove my car a little ways to see how I do.  No I was not alone.  I drove well too, and was feeling pretty good.  That  night was a whole other story that I'll share with you, just ask.  I have relearned my lesson that I so easily forget, that is to never take anything for granted.  That goes for physical health as well.  Another lesson is to keep trusting God, even in the toughest pain.  I have had my share of them personally as well as with my family over the years.  Again, I have many stories. ( I have updated my story on the testimony page, so please feel free to check it out.  It is a 2 minute version of my story but again if you want to visit and have a cookie I'd be happy to share with you my stories!)    I know that God has not abandoned me.  I don't doubt He has a purpose for me.  Actually even now, I know He is using me.  There isn't a day that goes by that is totally in vain.

I will also tell you that my attitude isn't always good.  Many times it totally stinks.  My mind goes all over the place trying to make sense of it all.  My number one question today  is why did I go through over a year of working on regaining my strength again only to lose it in the blink of an eye for unkown reasons.  I have questions, I really do.  Probably all of them won't be answered.  But like the title of my blog's site, "God's Got This," I hold on to that.  Because knowing that is what gets me through each day.  Even when I find myself in positions where I cannot even move (I mean this literally by the way), I find the strength and comfort only God can provide.  Honestly, I wouldn't survive without Him.  He is my everything.  Even if I never walk again, God still will have me in His hands.  A song that comes to mind right now, and even as I think about the words and place them in my heart the tears well up in my eyes because it is so true.  That is the song, "Stronger" by Hillsong.

There is Love

That came for us

Humbled to a sinner's cross

You broke my shame and sinfulness

You rose again victorious

Faithfulness none can deny

Through the storm

And through the fire

There is truth that sets me free

Jesus Christ who lives in me

You are stronger

You are stronger

Sin is broken

You have saved me

It is written

Christ is risen

Jesus You are Lord of all

No beginning and no end

You're my hope and my defense

You came to seek and save the lost

You paid it all upon the cross

So let Your Name be lifted higher

Be lifted higher

Be lifted higher

I have risen victorious through Jesus Christ and ultimately His strength is what gets me through and what will get me through all the days to come.   Please check out the updated version of my testimony by clicking on the link that is on the right.  

You Can Make a Difference!

Have you ever thought to yourself  how can you make a difference in this world?  Maybe you have thought that you're not much of a world traveler, nor do you have the desire to travel much, but maybe you still wonder is there a possible way to help make a difference in someone's life.  You can help people no matter where you live, and now days it is possible to help people around the world without even traveling to do so.  If you have ever supported someone to take a mission trip through prayer or finacially, that is one way you have helped, another way would be to be a help within your own town or city.  You live in this world so if you have helped serve others 2 miles from your house you still are impacting the world somehow!  The point is we can all help others no matter where we are and we are all called to share the love of Christ and to be the love of Christ.  

I am here to ask for your help to help a little girl named Mamosa.  Mamosa lives in Lethoso, which is a small and poor country in Southern Africa.  Mamosa is my sponsored child through World Vision.  I became Mamosa's sponsor around Christmas time 3 years ago.  I was working in San Diego at the time.  One night I was in Family Christian Stores down in SD and I was checking out.  As the lady was ringing up my purchase I had glanced at the World Vision chidren on the counter.  The clerk asked if I'd be interested in becoming a sponsor.  I hesistated but then said, I have felt God calling me to be one someday, and that "someday" was the day God wanted me to start.  The store clerk pulled out Mamosa's folder and said that she had been looked over many times for over a year.  For some reason no one had chosen to be her sponsor.  By then the nudge on my heart became more like a push from God to become a sponsor and He wanted me to be Mamosa''s sponsor.  I have enjoyed being a sponsor.  Mamosa is a sweet little girl and also a very good artist.  I enjoy receiving pictures from her and sweet letters from her sweet heart.

Now today has come, where I no longer can afford to sponsor Mamosa.  I knew the day would eventually come over the past few weeks or so, because I am no longer on staff with YWAM and my income would be cut off.  The thought of not being Mamosa's sponsor was really making my heart ache even more than it already was.  I do not want to call World Vision to tell them I can no longer be Mamosa's sponsor.  I couldn't even imagine the hurt and pain little Mamosa would feel when she would find that out.  God wants me to keep on sponsoring this sweet little child of His.  I am trusting that God will somehow provide so I can keep sponsoring her.  

I am asking you.  Would you prayfully consider helping me out financially so I can continue to support Mamosa?  Any amount helps.  Please pray for Mamosa and her family.  They are very poor and they really need our help.  Together let's continue to help give what Mamosa and her family need phycially and also continue to share the love of Christ to her and her family.  If you are interested in giving please contact me.  You can either message me on Facebook, or  E-mail me at jrvl03@msn.com  Thank you so much.  

Why?

I would say every person who ever lived, and everyone who lives today has at one point or another asked the question of why.  Maybe not in English.  Maybe you asked por que?  Maybe waarom?  Or how about 為什麼呢？  Well whatever language you choose, I think you get the picture.  We have all wondered why this or that at some point in our lives.  Perhaps it is daily.  Or perhaps it is often enough where you can go back and remember the last time.  Time and place is not the point here.

Your next question now is probably, what is my point.  Well, I am glad that you asked. I have found myself asking why to a lot of things lately.  The past month has be a tough one.  This whole year actually, but more so it feels that this month has put a number on me.  I have been struggling emotionally a lot it seems like lately.  Stress and pain have both increased over the past few weeks.  I wonder sometimes why it feels like my life right now feels like a train wreck.  Last year around this time is when this whole journey started.  It was then where I have been in and out of the hospital, bound to a wheelchair for months (I praise God, I am now out of it.), struck by a lot of pain, not being able to ride a bike, (Okay, I love riding bike, and I tried it out a couple weeks ago, and it didn't go over so well!), not being able to walk the city streets and sharing the love of Christ to my homeless friends, and  I will end the list here, but you get what I'm saying.  It has been hard.  Sometimes I have days where I feel really down.  I sometimes have days where I don't feel like getting out of bed.  I feel like screaming sometimes.  Sad part is, I have tried screaming and my voice goes out!  I have had times where I have asked God why.  

God has answered my why question through  His Word.  Two passages come to mind as I write this blog, the passages that God has given me to read and remind me of.   

2 Corinthians 12:9  “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him,  who have been called according to his purpose."

These are two verses that God whispers in my ear daily.  God answers my "why" in a better way than I expect.  Even though right now the waves of the storm are high and I don't know what my next step is going to be, I can always be certain of this, that is Jesus is always in the same boat.  Jesus calms the raging storms that seem so out of control.  He wipes every tear away from my eyes.  Jesus heals my broken heart.  Jesus knows my pain and He cares.  Romans 8:28 tells me that God is working everything out for the good.  God is using me now and is using my journey to prepare me for what is next in my life.  God is my eternal Rock, my fortress, my deliverer.  God knows what is best for me.  God also has my entire life planned out.  As I look back on this year alone, I already see how God has walked me through and He has blessed me with some amazing people whom I love very much.  Both my family and church family have been a huge support.  I have met people whom have become some great friends and prayer warriors of mine and I would not have met them if it weren't because of everything that has happened this last year.  I have also grown closer to God and God reminds me that throughout all the trials in my life my faith does get strengthened.  I have said this to some of my family and  a couple great friends that if it wasn't for the trials I don't think I would have as strong of a faith.  Not only that, but I wouldn't know how to have such a strong compassin and love for hurting people.  That is just one example of how God uses my trials for the good and for His glory.  God wants me to have a strong and close relationship with Him.  I am an image bearer of God, meaning that God wants Hm to reflect off of me and be made known to others.  Jesus has suffered so much for me, and like it says in James, I need to count it pure joy when I endure sufferings of any kind. 

When I am down, God picks me back up.  He reminds me it is okay to be sad and have feelings.  He also reminds me of everything I just wrote.  God will always be there for me.  Even if I feel rejected by people, God says that He will never reject me, leave me or stop loving me.  God will always be my provider.  I am blessed.  I know that God is as work in me.  I will keep clinging to Him.  Though right now hurts so much, I have an inner joy that can never be taken away.  Even if everything in my life is taken away, Jessus Christ cannot ever be taken from me no matter what.  I will keep living for my King through the calm AND through the storms.