Hi Everybody!! I went to San Diego this weekend, because of an appointment on Monday. Was supposed to come back Monday, but the ride didn't come so I stayed an extra night. But hung out with some of the San Diego staff, and spent the night at one of their houses. So it's all good. The great thing about YWAM is you can do those things because everyone is like one big family. Today I went to the office and helped out someone there. Someone came up from Ensenada, and so I was able to come back today. I'm getting to know the staff more and more in San Diego. Someone came up to me, and she knew who I was. People seemed to have heard a lot about me around here. It's a good thing, it's good to get to know these folks more and more, especially because I am feeling the nudge to stick around for a while :). Hopefully after all the doctors stuff is over with I can be a YWAMer for long term.
I'm still talking about what I'm doing on outreach. It sounds like it can be anywhere in CA. But as much as there are places that sound totally awesome, and fun to go to, like San Francisco. I have to remember that I still am in God's will. I cannot choose places based on what I want. It's got to be what God wants and nothing else. My heart needs to be in the attitude on what would God want me to do, how does God want to use me, and what is He going to teach me on my outreach. Why does God want me on my own special outreach? What makes me so special, that God would choose something just for me to do? My passion is the city, and I feel God wants me in the city. But which one? I have felt that God doesn't want me to choose just one and stay there forever. I really believe God wants to use me in various places, around the world. Now I've already had the thoughts of does this sound crazy or what! How can I be used in ways like that, when most of you who know me, would think of me as the biggest chicken. God uses the people you'd least suspect to do powerful things. God made me the way I am for a reason, He knows I'm shy, but He also knows my heart, and all of the situations that I face. He knows them before I do. So if God places something so strongly on my heart, I cannot back down because it sounds insane.
A few weeks ago one of the speakers told us, eventually we will come to a point where it is going to be very hard. It is going to be down to where you feel you have nothing left. Where you want to quit and say forget it. The battle is defeating me, and I just don't have anymore strength. I did come to that point actually, where I did say the words I just can't do it anymore. I have nothing left. But you know what? God uses the weak and makes them strong. He chooses the people that others will say about them, there is no way so and so will ever do this, or how in the world are they ever going to succeed. God uses the people who you'd never suspect because it is His power that works through them. When God uses them people see how awesome God really is. If God only uses people who are outgoing, and good at reaching out to everybody, and uses them to only do that stuff, then how do others see God work? God uses them in ways that people think they would never do. Bottom line is, God is way out of the box, and thinks bigger than we do. He works powerfully in each of us, and will continue to if we continue to surrender to Him. God has continued to work in me, and told me I am not through with you yet. I have bigger plans for you far greater that what you have dreamed of. You're a fighter, and I love you, keep running the race of faith, during the times when it hurts, don't lose heart. I have carried you through all your trials in the past, and I will continue to do so now and forever more. You're my princess, and I have chosen you. Don't let others discourage you, for I did not place the dreams in their hearts I placed them in yours. Where you go I will be with you, and I will never leave you. You will face battles but know that each battle you've faced and each battle you're going to face, your character is being built. Your faith is being strengthened, and My Name is being glorified. I'm using you through everything and there is someone out there who needs to hear your story, and how My power has been working through you. There is more than just someone there are thousands who need to hear your story, and thousands who need to hear about Me. I want you to reach to those people, and do not be afraid. For I am with you and I will always be with you. I am your Father and your God. I created you, and you are not a mistake, and never let anyone tell you differently. So keep going My daughter, I will fight for you, just keep being who I called you to be.
I just felt God has placed those words on my heart, and that He will be watching over me. So I must not quit when things get hard, I must cling harder to His promises, and His everlasting love. God is forever with me and that is a promise, and something that can never be taken away from me.