The Ups and Downs

Going from not feeling well, to ending up in the hospital is not what I had in mind on my journey. But that is what happened. I was taken to San Diego to see the doctor, was sent to the ER, then admitted. The night was long, I laid there awake, wondering what I was doing there. What was wrong with me. Here I am supposed to be on a journey of a lifetime and I'm laying in this hospital bed. I had several blood tests, x-rays, CT scan, and an MRI. The MRI showed that I had the condition called chauri malformation type 1. It basically is a condition in the neck. My head is too small, the brain is being compressed, and the area were there is supposed to be fluid it is dry. What does that mean? Well, Southern Mexico is out, and I can go on a local outreach closer by. After DTS most likely a surgery, a major, painful surgery, plus the ear also will need to be done after that sometime. But you know it is not something I can't bare. I've had several surgeries and that is not the part that I think about the most. I don't even care anymore about it, they just don't scare me like they used to. But what does is the unknowns again. What does this mean for me? I don't know. I just don't know what God has in mind for me. I know that He wants me to be a missionary. I know He has a plan in all of this, and that He works everything for good, and everything happens for a reason. I'd love to say I'm doing great, but on the inside I'm a mess, I've been going up and down these past couple weeks. I just want to follow God's call for my life, and feel like I'm facing one battle after the other. This one was a hard one. One that I just didn't see coming. But again I'm reminded God works it all out for His glory, His purpose, and His perfect plan. With God the battle will be fought, the enemy will be defeated. The more I strive the follow God's call for my life, the harder the enemy works to get me down. But God will not leave me, and He will still lead me to the end. Each and every step is a step of faith, and sometimes the next step is crazy. People call me crazy, and even those that are close to me may not understand... but God gave me a dream, and a call, and a call I must follow. I know it deep down in my heart that I'm supposed to keep going, and that is what I want to do. I will endure the surgeries, I will run the race with perseverance, and it will all be for God's glory.